Tuesday, 5 May 2009 appropriate! Lol.

This was the last card I made the other night before I got sick - think it's a virus, it's been doing the rounds of the house. Just ill enough to not feel like making anything, but not sick enough to stay in bed. Bother.

Used my favourite stencil!! Lol. If you haven't already you must check out Country Stencils - some really neat images! This time I printed it in white ink (PapertreyInk Fresh Snow) I like how it looks on Kraft. Very simple straightforward card but sometimes crisp and clean is good. All brown stuff from PTI (except button - stash). Any questions, fire away, I'll answer them on this post. Thanks for looking. Those of you easily bored - look away now.


Never been one to envy anybody anything. Even as a child, never wanted anyone else's toys, just counted myself lucky I had what I had. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a goody goody, I just appreciated that the Big Guy Upstairs saw fit to bless me with a contented mind. Still do.


Since I been big, I gotta say, a certain issue rears it's head now and again. Mostly in Spring/Summertime. While all you lithesome ladies are running about in your shorts and skirts I'm wondering what God was up to when he designed my body.

In the dark, last night, in bed while I couldn't sleep - the answer came to me. He didn't.

Obiously, He was busy that day and sub-contracted the design of my particular bod (along with a few others possibly) out to one of his technicians. He must have millions of them by now. The said technician obviously enjoys a penchant for Celtic Antiquity and, yes indeed, this particular, short limbed, long bodied, thick ankled and somewhat woolly little number would be right at home, crashing barefoot and half naked through the Teutonic forests of a 1000 years ago, but put it on a modern day beach in company with hundreds of scantily clad bald legs and it doesn't quite cut the mustard. Did I mention it's a very attractive shade of white - almost blue?

But I am not unhappy. Last night was the enlightenment. Quite clearly, the techinian knew what he was doing. Isn't global warming already here? and doesn't that mean for some bizarre reason that the area in which I live is getting colder and will freeze up? - and Won't I be the one enjoying the protection afforded by the extra half a degree body heat trapped under the excess body fluff? Chances are, my extremities are not as extreme as your extremities - I got shorter limbs, it stands to reason that your fingers will freeze off before mine. Hurrah!

I look forward to my future role as the Florence Nightingale of the North, skipping merrily about between rows of hospital beds filled with beautiful, cold people, dispensing hotwater bottles and sage advice such as "you shouldn't have shaved!"

Hope it tickles.


  1. Re - Waffle... LOL.
    If it makes you feel any better in Victoria, Australia it is freezing cold at the moment and there is no way anyone will be venturing out in a teeny bikini. So maybe just pretend you are in Australia at the moment :-)
    Love your card.

  2. hope you feel better soon.

  3. I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but hope that you are "on the mend" quickly, my dear. What a lovely post of contentment, and I think that most of us share your bewilderment about what God must have been thinking they day we were designed. :)

    You're a real gem, Claire, and I'm lucky to call you friend.

    Hugs to you!

  4. Those darn technicians worked on my body, too! Thanks for the laughs! I love your work! Thanks for sharing with all of us.

  5. Claire you are hilarious (your card is gorgeous btw!) I think God might have subcontracted me as well. I was meant for a place where you only get fed every month or so... while else would body gain weight at the mere thought of food?
    I hope you feel better soon!

  6. Oh Claire, you are so funny! I can totally relate, but I'll spare you the details, except to say that my short legs and big feet can trounce through the forest with you, lol! I benefited more from my pasty English ancestors than from my Scandinavian ones. Don't we all have something we can laugh about? My favorite scripture talks about having the image of God engraven on our countenances. That, to me, is much more beautiful than long, tan legs. And I'm quite sure you have it, my friend. Thank you for the good laugh this morning.

  7. Gorgeous card, Claire, as always!
    And, yes, you are not alone contemplating the design of your body. I, too, am blessed with Celtic blue-white skin and short arms with teeny, tiny hands...

  8. Claire, you gave me quite a chuckle this morning!! I'm sorry you are feeling under the weather, but it certainly has not seemed to affect your card making or your writing!

    Maybe a short limbed (I loved the peg and roll your pants '80's!! Never had to hem a thing!) long torso'd, and pale as in day glo (my friends call me 'pasty' and tell me my skin is translucent!) club of women shall ensue. :>

    Hope you feel better soon. You are quite the talented and witty woman! :>

  9. You made my day Claire, after all the rather depressive news of today, I could finally laugh out loud!! I guess we had the same technicians, but yes, who knows for what it will be good!! Love your work and adore your humour. Hope you are feeling better soon!

  10. What a quaint little image I have of you now Claire!! thanks for sharing all that!!! LOL!!! Must be the fever from the flu! hope you are feeling better!

    Love your quilt in the white on the craft - it does look quite lovely and you should probably be under it with it tucked snugly under your chin!

  11. Claire, you make me LOL...I too, am a lovely shade of white (my legs especially - they practically glow in the dark!) It's the big joke in my house...put on your sungalsses, Mommy's wearing shorts! Hope you feel better soon! {{{HUGS}}} (oh, and pssst...I love your card too!)

  12. You are too funny! Now, if I could adopt some of your humor about my build, then I might get over it!

  13. Beautiful card, Claire! I love the soft colors! Hope you feel better soon! Thanks for the laugh, too. I'm right there with you! *wink*

  14. Your card is fabulous! Your sense of humor is healthy, despite the flu bug! I love it!!!

  15. Doesn't everyone at some point wonder what the technicians where thinking when designing our unique shapes - just remember variety the spice of life! What a boring world it would be if we all looked alike....

    BTW - Loved you card!

  16. I love your cards using the stencils from "Country Stencils" fact, I love them so much, that I just HAD to order these also!!! They certainly do make lovely cards....thanks for "enabling" me!

  17. I don't know what I love more--your card or your story! LOL!

    Hope you are better's not swine flu, is it? ;)

  18. Claire, your epiphany has no doubt helped many. I now feel much better about my chances of surviving a freeze with all this excess fat I'm carrying around. I shave something every day, but perhaps I should stop! LOL

    Your quilt stencil cards are marvelous! I just strolled through your posts since the sock animal post and enjoyed every moment... especially the butterfly made of ribbon. I must try that! I don't think I'll ever have the patience to cut out leaves by hand. Thank goodness for metal dies.

    I hope you're feeling better. It's no fun to be sick, or to be in that place inbetween. Yuck.


  19. hehehe, you are crazy Claire!! LOL love this card, loving all your stencil cards! Take care of yourself and get better soon!

  20. I think we had the same subcontractor...if you ever figure out where they put the serial numbers so we can compare, let me know. ;-) Thanks for the ROFL!

  21. loving your card Claire, beeeautiful!!! sorry to hear you are feeling unwell, hope you pick up soon :)

  22. See, Claire...there's lots of us out there thinkin' the same thing about ourselves. I work my butt off at the gym and TRY to watch what I eat (but I'm a junkfood fanatic so it's almost no use!), but thanks to one extenuating circumstance after another over the past couple years, it's been like 1 step forward then 3 steps back. And though I'm not a hairy sort, I have the fair skin that goes w/my red hair, so the only color I'll see on my skin this summer is RED! But thanks for sharing your're brave to put out there in writing what we're all feeling! Oh, and btw, your card is a TRUE BEAUTY!!!

  23. Thanks for making me chuckle this morning!! And I am happy you can be content with what body you have....after all it is the only one you have! Love your blog and the lovely detailed cards you make...such an inspiration!!!


  24. I hope you will feel better soon, i totally love your card and your post was just wath i needed after a long day at work.

    Hugs Yvon.

  25. Your card is lovely! I feel the same as you sometime! I have the four kid "tummy" that will always remind me of them! LOL! I am fair skinned Italian ( I have always longed for tanned skin, but I usually burn first!) I have very dark hair and eyes, that seem too dark for my fair skin, so I complain all the time! We are never happy with ourselves, but of course we are our worst critics! Love your work, and your blog claire, your wonderful! hugs, michelle

  26. OOOH Claire - as always - this is absolutely gorgeous. I am so envious of your 'use' of colour.

    Your cards always have that extra touch of sophistication.

    If I had all day here it wouldn't be long enough!

    Elaine x


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